Reflective Questions towards developing Self-Wholeness

These questions were sourced from Guy Finlay's book - 'The Secrets of Letting Go'. It is not uncommon for us all to initially find fault in the other or blame the other. To quote Pema Choldron, "It isn't what happens that makes us suffer; it's what we say to ourselves about what happens".

Whilst the initial reaction is to blame the other, or ask, "why me"? The 10 questions are inviting us to look within ourselves and ask what is my 'Inner' learning from this experience?

Questions for Self-Wholeness

(1)    Instead of always asking yourself, “Why do these things always happen to

        me?”

        Learn to ask:     What is it inside of me that attracts’ these painful

                                   situations?

(2)    Instead of always asking yourself why things had to go this way or be
        that way…..

        Learn to ask:     Why is the way I feel always determined by
                                  external conditions?

(3)    Instead of always asking yourself how to protect yourself in challenging

        situations……

         Learn to ask:     What is it in me that always needs to be defended?

(4)    Instead of always asking yourself how to clear up your mental fog…..

         Learn to ask:     Can confusion knows anything about clarity?

(5)    Instead of always asking yourself what to do about tomorrow (or the next

        minute)…..

        Learn to ask:     Can there ever be intelligence in anxiety or worry?

(6)    Instead of always asking yourself why does so-and-so act this or that

        way….

        Learn to ask:     What’s inside of me that wants to hurt itself 
                                  over how anyone acts?

(7)    Instead of always crying out, “Why me?”

         Learn to ask:     Who is this “me” that always feels this way?

(8)     Instead if always asking yourself if you've made the right choice........

 

          Learn to ask:     Can fear ever make a safe decision?

(9)    Instead of always asking yourself why doesn’t so-and-so see how wrong

        they are….

         Learn to ask:     Is what I’m feeling about that person right now
         good for me? Or them?


(10)   Instead of always asking yourself how to get others to approve you…..


         Learn to ask:     What do I really want, the applause of the crowds
         or to quietly have my own life?

  

(Source: Finley, G. 1990 The Secret of Letting Go – Llewellyn Publication, St Paul Minnesota. p 61-62)