The practice of staying with "presence" is very important but it is not easy as when we get triggered our old stories can take over and with it - our associated hurts - hence we are in reaction to self protect.
The process Tara used in the counselling session is not always easy for men - "just keep feeling what's inside to the situation and see what unfolds".... What unfolds may not be more "rationalisation of the story" but the feelings that are evoked in the situation. Feelings - what are they men will ask?
Or, the most common response is, "I don't know". With practice and learning to listen within - the intuitive voice within "knows" - what feeling experiences are being experienced!
When we can each share the experience of the feelings - it is not about blame or counter blame - listening, hearing and bring presence to the feelings instead of reacting, defending or avoiding.
In the article, Jeff and his partner learnt to do meditation and to quote Jeff's experience:
......."Jeff nodded his agreement. “I realized that it’s not about getting from point A to point B,” he said with a smile. “It’s about bringing a full presence to point A, to the life of this moment, no matter what’s going on. The rest unfolds from there.”
Getting from Point A to Point B is so important to men because when it's fixed and moved onto Point B we don't have to experience the discomfort difficult emotions and feelings. Learning to be with them is growth and healing.
Enjoy the article.
Kind regards Mark
Tara Brach: Decide On Love: