The practice of staying with "presence" is very important but it is not easy as when we get triggered our old stories can take over and with it - our associated hurts - hence we are in reaction to self protect.
The process Tara used in the counselling session is not always easy for men - "just keep feeling what's inside to the situation and see what unfolds".... What unfolds may not be more "rationalisation of the story" but the feelings that are evoked in the situation. Feelings - what are they men will ask?
Or, the most common response is, "I don't know". With practice and learning to listen within - the intuitive voice within "knows" - what feeling experiences are being experienced!
When we can each share the experience of the feelings - it is not about blame or counter blame - listening, hearing and bring presence to the feelings instead of reacting, defending or avoiding.
In the article, Jeff and his partner learnt to do meditation and to quote Jeff's experience:
......."Jeff nodded his agreement. “I realized that it’s not about getting from point A to point B,” he said with a smile. “It’s about bringing a full presence to point A, to the life of this moment, no matter what’s going on. The rest unfolds from there.”
Getting from Point A to Point B is so important to men because when it's fixed and moved onto Point B we don't have to experience the discomfort difficult emotions and feelings. Learning to be with them is growth and healing.
Enjoy the article.
Kind regards Mark
Tara Brach: Decide On Love:
Brochure
Monday, 31 March 2014
7 Honest Reasons Why Addicts Lie | Addiction Recovery
The title of this article may seem like such a paradox!
Family members and friends associated with someone in addiction may simply experience the 'lying' with belligerent frustration. When an addict, from a professional sense has been asked what they have been drinking or using - the general rule is add another 50% and multiply that again by 10. (A tad of embellishment!) but hopefully you might get the picture.
I believe all human beings need to have some form of "ego self preservation". The dynamic of lying can be part of (rightly or wrongly) our self preservation - because to be truly honest and acknowledge my "temporary flaws" would my sense of self truly collapse?
Unabated lying will eventually lead to the concept of 'rock bottom' - where the, then sense of self does truly collapse and it may need to do this several times over before a 'Phoenix phenomena' of change may arise.
I have wondered how much of the denial and lying is about hiding the inherent "shame". Nobody starts out recreationally using alcohol and other drugs to become addicts. You know, at the age of 16 years old - yeah, 'I think I'll become an alcoholic' - sure!
Unfortunately, what started out as "fun and party-time" becomes a pattern and when they recognise that other people have 'turn off' taps that they don't have the 'off-switch' - I wonder what might that do to their self esteem? Does the lying serve to self preserve a sense of self esteem? Or do they maintain a sense of denial to maintain the realms of euphoric fun?
One of the saddest things is that 'lying to others' is 'lying to oneself'. I firmly believe that at some level in the addict's psyche they know of this "unauthentic ness" and choose not establish insight but choose to avoid it with euphoric states of altered states of consciousness - 'Scotty beam me up there's no......down here'!
The article has some excellent strategies in addressing the lying.
A further strategy to address someone's lying is to work with our own 'powerlessness' and 'helplessness' - maybe then we can change the our dynamic? Perhaps it would cut at some level in our psyche, an energetic connection the addict needs and/or feeds off - offering them the emotional excuses and/or triggers to use. Take this away and what is left for the addict? The free-fall to pain and growth to self-responsibility or another drink?
7 Honest Reasons Why Addicts Lie | Addiction Recovery
Family members and friends associated with someone in addiction may simply experience the 'lying' with belligerent frustration. When an addict, from a professional sense has been asked what they have been drinking or using - the general rule is add another 50% and multiply that again by 10. (A tad of embellishment!) but hopefully you might get the picture.
I believe all human beings need to have some form of "ego self preservation". The dynamic of lying can be part of (rightly or wrongly) our self preservation - because to be truly honest and acknowledge my "temporary flaws" would my sense of self truly collapse?
Unabated lying will eventually lead to the concept of 'rock bottom' - where the, then sense of self does truly collapse and it may need to do this several times over before a 'Phoenix phenomena' of change may arise.
I have wondered how much of the denial and lying is about hiding the inherent "shame". Nobody starts out recreationally using alcohol and other drugs to become addicts. You know, at the age of 16 years old - yeah, 'I think I'll become an alcoholic' - sure!
Unfortunately, what started out as "fun and party-time" becomes a pattern and when they recognise that other people have 'turn off' taps that they don't have the 'off-switch' - I wonder what might that do to their self esteem? Does the lying serve to self preserve a sense of self esteem? Or do they maintain a sense of denial to maintain the realms of euphoric fun?
One of the saddest things is that 'lying to others' is 'lying to oneself'. I firmly believe that at some level in the addict's psyche they know of this "unauthentic ness" and choose not establish insight but choose to avoid it with euphoric states of altered states of consciousness - 'Scotty beam me up there's no......down here'!
The article has some excellent strategies in addressing the lying.
A further strategy to address someone's lying is to work with our own 'powerlessness' and 'helplessness' - maybe then we can change the our dynamic? Perhaps it would cut at some level in our psyche, an energetic connection the addict needs and/or feeds off - offering them the emotional excuses and/or triggers to use. Take this away and what is left for the addict? The free-fall to pain and growth to self-responsibility or another drink?
7 Honest Reasons Why Addicts Lie | Addiction Recovery
Wednesday, 26 March 2014
AIPC Article Library | Understanding Self Harming
A good article on the issue of Self Harming a factor that some young people can engage in.
AIPC Article Library | Understanding Self Harming
AIPC Article Library | Understanding Self Harming
Sunday, 16 March 2014
My Addiction, Through My Eyes
This photographic journey is an amazing story of his/their experience of addiction. It is his story and the "experts" all have their opinions. It is an glamouring or telling "war stories" - just an honest account.
My Addiction, Through My Eyes
My Addiction, Through My Eyes
Saturday, 15 March 2014
Accredited Mental Health Social Worker Logo
The Australian Association of Social Work has recenty registered Trade Mark Logos. As I am now an Accredited Mental Heath Social Worker we are now registered to use the following trade mark. This is an important step for Social Workers in Australia.
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